301 Ale
Words: © 2000 by Tom Smith
Music: "307 Ale" by Tom Smith
At OVFF 2000, in the "Best
Food/Drink Song" category, "307 Ale" tied with Debbie Ridpath
Ohi's "My Jalapeno Man", a fun song I like a lot by a sweet and beautiful
lady I like even more. We went up arm in arm to get our hand-tooled leather
cassette-case awards, we were silly, we flirted -- well, okay, I was silly and
I flirted, and she laughed a lot and blushed prettily. Later that evening, I
took the winner's certificate out of the envelope to look at it, and Leslie
said, "They got it wrong!" Which got me writing instantly, and singing
at the Rock Jam later that evening. Diana Huey was chagrined and apologetic
when she found out about the snafu, and said they'd get me a new certificate
right away (and I did in fact receive it), but it was really nothing to worry
about, and it led to another fun con story and another song, so what's the problem?
There's many songs they vote on at the Pegasus Awards,
The nominations come each year, sent in by screaming hordes.
There's Ookla, Nyrond, Leslie Fish, and Urban Tapestry...
Whose "Jalapeno Man" won this year -- hey! It tied with me!
The lovely Debbie Ridpath Ohi joined me in the aisle,
We hugged, we danced, we got applause, we couldn't stop a smile,
We got our leather cases, and certificates to be framed,
Then I got back to my table, and saw whay my song was named.
(chorus)
Three-Oh-ONE Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-One Ale,
Compared to the original, it's just a little pale,
A simple, silly typo caused the formula to fail --
To lose six proofs in tesseract math
Is to start along a deadly path --
Hey, wait! It's perfect bubble bath!
It's Three-Oh-One Ale!
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