Words: © 1994 by Tom Smith
Music: "Charlie Mopps (Beer Beer Beer)"
I don't think this one really needs
much annotation, do you?
Well, there's a little drink you know as Three-Oh-Seven
It's always had a lively kick, but now it's past the pale.
Those fellows up at M.I.T. were bored again last week,
They took the brew and ran it through the cyclotron at peak.
Well, they might have got a meltdown, or caused the stuff to fuse,
Instead, they got an alcohol that everyone can use,
All the megatonnage of a bomber squad in flight,
But less than half the calories, it's Three-Oh-Seven Lite,
Lite, Lite, tiddle-ey, Lite, Lite, Lite.
A second dose of neutrons has made a better breed,
Its greenish light is now so bright that you can drink and read,
Although we strongly caution you don't keep it in the house,
Or operate machinery, like a pencil or a mouse.
It's great with brats and burgers, or fine filet
We guarantee at meal's end your appetite is gone.
Its taste is overpowering in just a small amount,
So toast your health and take a belt and then begin to count: