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Bermuda Triangle

from Plugged ;
Words and Music: © 1995 by Tom Smith
I wanted to write "Cheeseburger In Paradise," but Jimmy Buffett had already done it. So I wrote what I thought he might come up with, were he inclined to write filk.

Running my sloop to Bermuda,
By way of the Florida Keys,
Drinking Margueritas and looking for chiquitas
Who like looking up at the trees...

When the seas got choppy, the sailing got sloppy,
And the waters ate my sloop,
And when I come to, I'd rediscovered Mu
On the North Atlantis Loop.

And I'm lost in the Bermuda Triangle,
Wondering how I'm ever gonna get home,
There's a thousand ships from a thousand trips
That ended up under the foam.

There's a million lights in these endless nights
And the ocean's crystal clear,
Yeah, I'm lost in the Bermuda Triangle,
Wondering how I'm gettin' outa here.

I was drinking with the Loch Ness Monster,
Rubbing elbows with a giant slug.
Godzilla and Cthulhu were shouting "boola boola"
And really cutting a rug,

And the singing and dancing and drunken romancing
Went on till I don't know when,
'Cause the band from the Titanic were causing a panic,
And they weren't going down again.

And I'm lost in the Bermuda Triangle,
At the best party I've ever seen.
Elvis is singing the news in his blue suede shoes,
While Mr. Glenn Miller begins the Beguine.

There's a million ways to spend these days
In the warm Caribbean sun,
I may be lost in the Bermuda Triangle,
But, man, am I having fun.

Who's that walkin' on down the line?
It's Amelia Earhart, she's lookin' fine,
She said, "Hey there, big boy, wanna go flyin'?"
I said, "Oh, mama, get me to the church on time!"

Bottle of wine, wheel of cheese,
Amelia on my lap and my hands on her knees.
She said, "Hey, now, my boyfriends'll be back soon,
The Swamp Thing and the Creature from the Black Lagoon...."

Well, we ain't got elections or taxes,
No CIA, no KGB.
We got seafood, swimmin' and a whole lotta women,
And next week, the Cable TV.

I suppose I could roam till I got back home,
To the life I left behind,
But there ain't much choice between the rat-race noise
And partying till I go blind.

And I've been found in the Bermuda Triangle,
Ain't nothing ever been so right,
I'm playing poker tomorrow with Ambrose Bierce and Che Guevara,
And Amelia's by every night.

There's legend and fable at every table
And a lot of damn good beer,
I got lost in the Bermuda Triangle,
And I found myself right here.
Come on down to the Bermuda Triangle,
Just head south till you can't steer.

Who's that walkin' on down the line?
It's Amelia Earhart, she's lookin' fine,
She said, "Hey there, big boy, wanna go flyin'?"
I said, "Oh, mama, get me to the church on time...."

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