Dem Frank Hayes Blues
Words and Music: © 1988 by Tom Smith
Frank Hayes, former senior IT columnist for Computerworld Magazine, is one of the gods of filk. His songs "Never Set the Cat on Fire" and "Like a Lamb to the Slaughter" have gone beyond classic to mythic status, and his most recent opus, "When I Was a Boy", is one of the funniest songs ever. However, the poor slob has become legendary for another reason as well: He forgets his own lyrics. Constantly. Sometimes even if he's looking right at 'em. Once, while recording a parody of Clif Flynt's "Unreality Warp", Bill Roper blanked on his own words, and said, by way of apology, "Hayes Disease". This song documents a strain of that dread virus. And one of the best laughs I ever got was, after spending a minute or so setting it up, completely and legitimately blanking on the song, and just going on to the next. By the way, the bit about Frank going West is not a metaphor. He didn't kack out or anything -- he just moved from Chicago, IL to Portland, OR.
Well, hey there, filkers, have you heard the news?
Well, Frank's a real nice guy, everyone will agree,
Well, I wanted to be a filker -- man, it was a terrible
It doesn't matter whose song it may be, even one
of my one,
So, hey there, filkers, please try not to abuse
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