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Honeymoon Tonight

Words: © 2000 by Tom Smith
Music: "Comedy Tonight" by Stephen Sondheim
This was written for the wedding of two friends... at their request. No one's sure what they were thinking, but the song worked out okay.

Something romantic, something pedantic,
Something for everyone on honeymoon tonight!
His frown's knight-errant, her gown's transparent,
Something for everyone on honeymoon tonight!

No aisle too thin, no train too wide,
That kinda sounds like "Here Comes The Bride".

Rented tuxedo strains with libido,
Get this -- the bride is wearing white,
Tragedy tomorrow! Honeymoon tonight.

Something old and new, and borrowed and blue,
A refurbished "Grover" doll for honeymoon tonight!
Rented horse carriage, your friends say, "Mawwiage,
Dat dweam wiffin a dweam" -- it's honeymoon tonight!

Seeds in your hair, soap on your car,
Thank God the reception hall has a bar.

Tossing the garter, toasting the martyr,
Isn't that "Chicken Dance" a fright?
Tragedy tomorrow, honeymoon tonight!

Lost your hotel room, "You sure you're a groom?
Let's see a driver's license" -- honeymoon tonight!
Champagne together, shackles and leather,
Something for EVERYONE on honeymoon tonight!

She never knew he's into that,
He had no clue why friends call her "Cat"....

Dawn comes too early... you're cramped and surly...
This time, you're gonna get it right!
Married life tomorrow...
Honeymoon, honeymoon, honeymoon, honeymoon, honeymoon --
Tonight!

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