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I Fought The Troll

Words: © 2004 by Tom Smith
Music: "I Fought The Law" by Sonny Curtis
Just a silliness, inspired by someone or other's phrasing on either Atrios or Daily Kos, and also by the huge infusion of right-wing trolls the blogs have gotten lately. Really, kids, your mom wants you to get some sleep.

Friday night and I'm gonna get sauced,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost.

He tried to boss me and was... out-bossed,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost.

Underneath his Freeper bridge,
Hoping goats will cross,
Quoting Ashcroft and Tom Ridge,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost.

He's even dumber than Mickey Kaus,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost.

Wouldn't last two minutes with David Frost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost.

His worldview sounds like pro wrestling,
Although not as nuanced,
Behind his eyes the wind's whistling,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost.

I kicked him offa Pandagon and... Atrios,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost.

He's permanently banned from Dai... ly Kos,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost.

And in November Double-Yuh
And all his thugs we'll toss,
We'll try to fix America,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost,
I fought the troll and the... troll lost.

(spoken)
And all you trolls out there, trying to aggravate everyone with your stupidity, illogic, and blind unthinking devotion to the Bush regime, this section is especially for you. I'm not going to name any of you out loud, not wanting to give you even the slightest possible noteriety, but as you sink under the weight of your own asininity into an intellectual La Brea Tar Pit, you can imagine that I sing your nom du guerre right now... and bask in a stolen fame you don't deserve.

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