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Instant Clinton (Just Add Whitewater)

Words: © 1999 by Tom Smith
Music: "Where the Hell Is Bill?" by Camper Van Beethoven
The mid-80s demented classic "Where the Hell is Bill?" by Camper Van Beethoven is a perfect forum for riffing on the Clinton administration, and, at the recording party for Debasement Tapes, that's just what I did. I probably went on a verse too long, but, dammit, I was having fun. Maybe this can become a party game. "A Secret Service Lament", indeed. "Just Add Whitewater", ho ho. (It is well beyond comedy cliché to riff on Mr. Clinton by this point; to get a closer idea of how I truly felt about his administration, see the notes to "I Just Can't Wait To Beat Ging".)

(chorus)
Where, where the hell is Bill?
Where, where the hell is Bill?
Where, where the hell is Bill?
Where, where the hell is Bill?

Maybe he went to visit Janet Reno,
Maybe he wanted a Big Mac and fries,
Maybe he went to give Trent Lott a wedgie,
Maybe he went to visit Monica.

(chorus)

Maybe he went to see Martha's Vineyard,
Maybe he went to beat up Strom Thurmond,
Maybe he went to go visit Montana,
Maybe he went to see Jesse Ventura.

(chorus)

Maybe he went to take Hillary to Cleveland,
Maybe he went to get a brand new set of sneakers,
Maybe he went to buy a video tape,
Maybe he just doesn't want to be here.

(chorus)

Maybe he went to be on Jerry Springer,
Maybe he went to be on Larry King,
Maybe he went to be on Rosie O'Donnell,
Maybe he'd like that.

(chorus)

Maybe he went to sign some bills from the Congress,
Maybe he went for a Disney vacation,
Maybe he went to get some black-eyed peas,
Maybe he went... because he can.

(chorus)

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