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Iron Chef

Words: © 2001 by Tom Smith
Music: "Iron Man" by Tony Iommi, Ozzy Osbourne, Geezer Butler, and Bill Ward
Damn, I love Iron Chef. What a great show. Everything cool about the WWF (now WWE), with superb cooking and great back stories and none of the interference and bashing people in the head. Yet. Of course, as "Iron Man" used to be the entrance music for The Road Warriors (later known as The Legion of Doom), I guess this is bringing things full circle. Kinda.

Has he lost his mind?
Trying to cook in so little time?
Can he wok at all?
Is his frying pan too small?

Is he alive or dead?
Enslaved by the Gourmet Academy's head.
We'll just watch him there,
Dressed in red and holding a pear.

He was turned to steel
In a sweetheart TV deal.
One whole hour's time,
Foraging food you'll love -- sublime!

Nobody wants him
Making ordinary meals.
Planning his entrees
With what Kaga reveals.

Parsley, thyme and mint,
Foie gras, caviar, dryer lint,
Congealed from the gravy,
Conger eel, lemon peel, this guy's crazy.

No fresher seafood,
Gut 'em and chop off their heads.
No! Don't make ice cream!
This must be his revenge.

Heavy sauce on squid
Fills the judges full of dread,
Vomiting as fast as they can --
Iron Chef cooks again!

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