Lyrics: Alphabetical By Title
Click here for a list of lyrics by album. Most Important Note Ever: There may be some differences between lyrics as published on the site and on a recording, or as I sing them in concert. Music is a living organism, and occasionally things change. Also: Some songs are listed more than once, to make them easier to find (e.g., "A Boy and His Frog" and "Boy and His Frog, A").
- 307 Ale
- 307 Lite
- 500 Hats
- 911
- A Boy and His Frog
- A
Different Kind of Survivor (I Want My Music On Napster)
- A Dragon's
Lullaby
- A Pirate Christmas
- A.I.A.I.O.
- Aggressively
Cute
- Alien Adventures
- Alternate Universe Lost and Found
- Aluminum Dog
- An Ecclesiastes For Rose
- And There Was Dancing
- And
They Say I've Got Talent
- Ankle Biters
- Attack of the Clones
- Baby New Year
- Bad Horse Death Note
- Badger Pajama
- Ballad of Fenton (Sheep Marketing Ploy)
- Ballad of Jek Porkins
- Ballad
of Rupert, The
- Barenaked Cockburn
- B.B.B.B.U.S.
- Be Our GOH
- Believe
- Bermuda Triangle
- Bimbo Wizard
- Blog Like It's the End of the World
- Blue Screen of Death
- Blind Lemon Pledge Drive Blues
- Bodyhacking
- Boy and His Frog, A
- Boyfriend Points
- Boxing Helena
- Brightest Star In My Sky, The
- Brothers Under the Skin
- Bullet Time
- Callisto
- Can't Get The File To Play
- Cast Iron Stomach
- Cat Macros
- Chevre No Vas
- Chort Through the Ages
- Circle of Lies
- Clarion-Around
- Coin-Flip Universe, The
- Come Be My
Love Forever
- Contessa
- ConValescence
- Cooking For 93
- Could It Be Shplove
- Coulrophobia
- Creatures of the Night
- Crystal Gayle Killed Frank Herbert
- Cthulhu Ctharols
- Cthulhu Fthagn
- Cthulhu
Lite FM
- Curmudgeon's
Son
- CYA
- Dammit,
They're Felt And Legumes
- Dark
Country
- Dave
- Dead Again
- Dead Potters
- Death By Wubbie
- Death Sheep 8
- Dem Frank Hayes Blues
- Denouement
- Dervish
- Destroyer of Worlds
- Different Kind of Survivor, A (I Want My Music On Napster)
- Divine Chili: The Madrigal
- Divine Irregularity
- Dolly Llama
- Domino
Death
- (Don't Gotta Be A) Big Star
- Dragon's
Lullaby, A
- Dread Ensign Wesley, The
- Driving Through Ohio
- DS8
- Duct Tape Diva
- Ecclesiastes For Rose, An
- Eight Themes In Search Of A Song
- Enterprising Man
- EULA Dancing
- Everybody Wants A Barb
- Everything Is Dangerous
- Falling Down Upon The Queen
- Falling Free
- Felis
Draco
- Fenton the Death Sheep From Hell (Sheep Marketing Ploy)
- Feud, The Proud, The
- Filk In The Blanks
- Five
Years
- Five Years, Annotated
- Follow Me (Hamelin Mix)
- For Us All
- Frog Like Me
- Garboo
- Garlic Is For Lovers
- George and Al
- Get Your Asses In Here
- Giant Monster
- Glorious Bugs
- Go Drosophila Go
- Great Moonwolf
Trap, The
- Hair (Sa)Tai
- Hamster Brain
- Happy
Conception Day
- Heat of the Blood
- Hee-Haw Field Earth
- Hellraiser
- Here and Now, The
- Hey Frickin Nonny
- Hey, It's Can(n)on
- Ho! for the Death of Time
- Honey Glazed Ham
- Honeymoon Tonight
- Hope Eyrie (Leslie Fish)
- Hot Sauce and Ice Cream
- House At Cthulhu
Corner
- Howie's
Norvegian Bluess
- Hung Out? Too Dry
- Hyperspace Cryogenic Insomnia Blues
- I Ain't Got Time For The Blues
- I Fought The Troll
- I Had A Shoggoth
- I Just Can't Wait To Beat Ging
- I Wanna Be A Reducer
- I Want My Flying Car
- I Want My Music On Napster
- I
Want To Be Peter Lorre
- I Wish I Couldn't Read Her Mind
- iDon'tCare
- Illuminati Polka, The
- I'm On Firefly
- Inconstant Moon
- Insert Geek Cliche Here
- Instant Clinton
- Iron Chef
- Is A Little VPTR
Okay?
- Joe's Soup
- Kate and Jaana
- "Kidnapped By Pirates" Is Good
- Kiowa
Timepiece Talking Blues
- Kitsune and the Master of Zen
- Lars Needs Women
- Last Hero On Earth, The
- Last Laugh, The
- Leeann
- Love Thy Neighbor
- Lumberin' Bunny
- Makeout Dot Com
- Making Buddha's Hard To Do
- Mand(e)la
- March of the PenguiCon
- Mark McGuire
- Mary Kelly (Radio Edit)
- Master of the Multiverse
- Mechanicsburg Tourism Song, The
- Melody Is You, The
- (Min)Barette
- Most Trusted Man In Nigeria, The
- MS-Y2K
- Mucoidal Periodontia
- Mythical Frederick
- My Name Is Torgo
- My Sun, My Moon
- My Unicorn Song
- Neckbolt Love
- NeoChristmas Song, The
- Norn Queen
- O Holey Knight
- On The PC
- On-Line Religion
- One Less Icon At I-Con
- One
Ring
- Online Ghost
- Online Religion
- Operation: Desert Storm
- Part Of A Heart
- Passavoys' Picnic, The
- PC
99
- Pickled Gopher
- Pine Gia-Varnis
- Pinky-Hontas
- Pirate Christmas, A
- Pizza-Lovin'
Squirrels
- Pluto, or The Old God Laments
- Political Noise
- PQR (You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet)
- Psychic Voicemail Hotline
- Purple and the Green, The
- Pygmalion 2.0, SP1
- RastaMatrix.com
- Really Sick Note, The
- Redneck Ninjas
- Return Of The King, Uh-Huh
- Rich Fantasy Lives (lyrics by Rob Balder)
- Rock Me Amidala
- Rocket Ride
- Rocky Horror Muppet Show, The
- Rorschach Love
- Rotten Robin
- Scarlett
- Sea Monkeys Suck
- Serial Killer
- Seven Drunken Nights In Space
- Sheep Marketing Ploy
- Shut Up, Pat (Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa)
- Sidekick
- Singled Out
- Sister Hazel
Plays "Alien Autopsy"
- Ski-Eating Tree
- Slow Dance
- Smash the Frickin' Fairies
- Smells Like Dead Haggis
- Smurfin'
Safari
- Snip Hits '99
- Snip Hits '02
- So, Thanks
- Something Positive
- Something's Going On
- Songwriting Workshop
- Sonuva
- Spam in the Street
- Spam Spam Spam
- Spank the Monkey
- Spoiler Alert
- Springtime For Sauron
- Star Wars No. 5
- Starlight & Saxophone
- Still A Nerd
- Stony Peak
- Storm Dancing
- Strontium
Asp
- Stupid Belated Valentine
- Suit of Armor
- Superman Sex Life Boogie
- Tacoma Pig, The
- Take Your Hands Off the Bear
- Talk Like A Pirate Day
- Tamales of Deat
- Take The Ring Through Moria
- Tech Support For Dad
- Telly Taley Heart
- Temperature of Revenge
- The One, They Are A-Changin'
- Theme From "Accidental Centaurs"
- Theme From
"Space Squid"
- They're Mismanaging Our Satellite
- This Ain't Over Yet
- Time Plot
- Tit That Ate Halftime, The
- Tom Smith Disease
- Toothbrush Song, The
- Toy at the Bottom of the Box
- Trans
Poly U Fight Song
- True Love Waits
- Twelve Days
of Star Wars
- Two Guys Kissin (Ruined My Life)
- Ultimate Ultimate Christmas
- Undead Happy Trees
- Underneath the Fur
- Unicorn Song, My
- Very Dubya Xmas, A
- Very Secret Diary of Dark Wolf, The
- Wait In Line
- Waking Up Jedi
- Walking Along The Beach...
- Waterboardin'
- Werewulf (Master of Momitude)
- What Was I Filking?
- What Would Fenton Do?
- Where The Heart Is
- Who The Fuck Is Matt?
- Who Needs Groundhog Day?
- Whose Idea Was
- Why I Won't Get You A Beer
- Wiki of Love
- Wiki Pirates
- Wokked
Like Any Gypped Chen
- World Is Against You, The
- Worst Job There Is, The
- Worth the Wait
- Y.U.R.T. (Your
Un-Resolved [sexual] Tension)
- Yeah, Yeah, Transitions
- Zombie Pirates In Love
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