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The NeoChristmas Song

Words: © 2004 by Tom Smith
Music: "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas, Don't Be Late)" by Eric Bagdasarian
This is transcribed from the original recording by Karl BaghdadAryan and the ChimpFucks. What, me, political? Naaaah.

All right, you Neocons! Ready to sing your song?
I'll say we are!
Yeah!
Let's sing it now!
Okay, Cheney?
Okay!
Okay, Rummy?
Okay!
Okay, Dubya? Dubya? DUBYA!
OKAY!!!

NeoChristmas time is near,
Time for terror, time for fear,
We've been running cold and hot,
We're safe from Osama, no, we're not,
Want our critics all rebuked,
Me, I want Fallujah nuked,
On to Iran and Kuwait,
NeoChristmas, don't be late.

Okay fellas, get ready.
That was very good, Cheney.
Well, of COURSE it was.
Very good, Rummy.
Was it very good, Karl? Heck, yeah it was very good. Will it be better next verse? We don't know.
Ah, Dubya, you were a little flat, watch it.
Ah, Dubya? Dubya. DUBYA!
I wasn't asleep!!!

NeoChristmas time is near,
Def'cit's in the stratosphere,
Halliburton's cashed its checks,
Cronyism sure beats sex,
Gut Social Security,
Two percent, it's all for me,
MediCare will share its fate,
NeoChristmas, don't be late.

Want no same-sex guys who smooch,
Me, I want to screw the pooch,
Fan the flames of Christian hate,
NeoChristmas, don't be late.
Dubya can't articulate,
NeoChristmas, don't be late.

Very good, boys.
Let's sing it again!
Yeah, we can privatize elections some more!
No, That's enough, let's not overdo it.
What do you mean not overdo it?
Overdo it?
We want to do it again!
Now wait a minute, boys ...
Why can't we do it again?
I even won this time!

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