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Pickled Gopher

Words and Music: © 2004 by Tom Smith
Part of the 24-Hour Project. Keywords: pickled, gopher; style: classic rock.

I was with my baby out in the wood,
And lemme tell ya she was lookin' good,
We were cuddlin' under neath a tree
Then she leans over and whispers to me
"You know, baby, I'm in the mood
For something more exotic than your normal food.

Pickled gopher sounds mighty fine
Pickled gopher and a bottle of wine
Don't want no trouser snake or bald-headed mouse,
No one-eyed wonder worm allowed in the house
No tallywhacker, anaconda of love,
It's just a big pickled gopher I been dreamin' of."

Well, lemme tell ya, I was ready to go,
'Cause she's my baby and I love her so,
But then she pulled out a jar of meat,
Labeled "Big Pickled Gopher" and she started to eat,
I started runnin' just as fast as I could
But I can still hear her voice comin' out o' that wood --

"Pickled gopher sounds mighty fine
Pickled gopher and a bottle of wine
Don't want no meat whistle, carnal stump,
Heat-seeking moisture missile, junket pump,
No purple-helmeted warrior of love,
It's just a big pickled gopher I been dreamin' of."


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