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Pizza-Lovin' Squirrels

Words and Music: © 2004 by Tom Smith
Part of the 24-Hour Project. Keywords: pizza, squirrels; style: blues.

Deliverin' pizza
Late one night
I got a call
But somethin' wasn't right
Didn't want pepperoni
Mushrooms or cheese
They wanted pine nuts, acorns,
And other stuff from trees!

I thought "vegetarian extremists,
Or prank-playing sorority girls"
But I never expected
Some pizza-lovin' squirrels.

Address was all wooded
Only one person home
Sweet little old lady
Who hadn't used the phone
She was in between dentures
Lactose gave her cramps
I turned to go and saw the pizza
Carried off by two scamps

Musta tapped into the wires,
Decided to give that 'phone call' thing a whirl,
But how'd they sound like David Spade,
Those pizza-lovin' squirrels.

So what could I do?
I chased 'em up the tree
They got to the high part
And laughed down at me
I Said "I'm gonna cut down
Every tree in this yard",
They looked at each other, then one handed
Me a MasterCard.

Now they're some o' my best customers,
I love the way their tails curl
Every time I say "Nuts to you",
Those fine pizza-lovin' squirrels.


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