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The Purple And The Green

Words: © 1995 by Tom Smith
Music: "The Wearing of the Green" (Irish trad.)
This song is actually a succinct retelling of the subplot of the Babylon 5 Episode "The Geometry Of Shadows". It was inspired by an old GEnie cohort of mine, Bill Hirst, The Fluffy Frog, and by one of the more famous parodies of the original song, that fine old Protestant-Catholic love-fest, "The Orange And The Green". The last line refers to a quote from Londo Mollari: "In purple, I'm stunning."

Oh, my Captain Johnny Sheridan, as fine as man can be,
Set out one day to teach "the fine art of diplomacy."
He sent me to the Drazi wing, but didn't say I'd find
A bunch of raving loonies who were really color-blind.

Oh, it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen,
The Drazi are divided into Purple and the Green.

Well, they pair off every five years, put on these colored cloths,
And are drawn to fight each other like Black Flag is drawn to moths.
I said, "It must be ritual," but that was badly put,
They broke into a hockey game, then broke my fraggin' foot.

Oh, it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen,
The Drazi are divided into Purple and the Green.

The longer this continued, the more it had to build,
I had to find an answer soon, before someone got killed.
And then the Green ones kidnapped me, said "It'll be all right,
We'll blow the Purples out the airlock -- that'll end the fight."

It'll be the biggest body-count that you have ever seen
If me and Garibaldi don't save Purple from the Green.

Well, the station now is quiet, and the Captain asked me how,
I grabbed Green Leader's neckerchief, I lead the Drazi now.
I made them change their colors, and now they're moribund --
In Green one-half were stunning, but in Purple they're all stunned.

Oh, it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen,
The Drazi are divided into Purple and the Green.

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