Sea Monkeys Suck
Words and Music: © 2001 by Tom Smith
Frickin' fragile brine shrimp. Who needs 'em, anyway? Snif. -- oh, the song. Well, Ookla the Mok was doing a "monkey set" -- what was that, ConFusion 2001? -- in which everyone had to contribute a song about monkeys. So I scratched this together a few minutes before the appointed time, and got my standard audience reaction, i.e., nervous giggles, disturbed glances, and a few well-placed "Oh... my... GAWD..."s. Cool.
Sea monkeys suck, they always die,
I don't know how, I don't know why.
This is the last batch I'm gonna buy,
They're too small to even stir-fry.
I got them with the Deluxe tank,
Took every dime from my piggy bank,
Their special food smelled really rank --
They hatched, they swam, they died, they sank.
Why did I get this stupid set?
This is the worst I ever did get.
They're all cacked, and my stuff's all wet --
Why isn't my Ant Farm here yet?
Sea monkeys suck, they always die,
I don't know how, I don't know why.
This is the last batch I'm gonna buy,
They're too small to cook... but I'm gonna try.
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