I was going to write a more serious Thanksgiving song, and maybe I will someday. But I wanted to write something fun. May your holiday season be filled with joy and love, and your shopping cart filled with bargains.
The fourth Thursday in November, I'm sure you all have heard,
Is when we offer thanks for stuff and devour roasted bird
But I'm not sure who I'm thanking, I'm not sure it's a him,
And I'm not sure what's deliberate, accidental, or a whim.
Then I thought, perhaps generic thanks will cover every base
Random gratitude for everything might help me save some face,
But it didn't seem appropriate, and it surely wasn't fair
Spouting platitudes anonymously into open air
Thanks to mom and dad for having me, because of you I'm there
Though if you'd chosen differently, I guess I wouldn't care
Thanks to Brother, whom I fought with over who had cooler toys,
Thanks to Sister, who still liked me even though she hated boys
Thanks to all the kids who beat me up because I was a nerd,
And then asked for help for homework, which I offered undeterred,
Thanks to the first girl I asked out, she said she liked my smile,
I have so much to be thankful for, so this could take awhile
Thanks to Popcap and Bethesda, 'cause your games are so much fun
Thanks Anne Hathaway and Kate Winslet for the topless scenes you've done
Thanks to all the pigs who've died to make my pulled pork barbecue
Thanks to Quentin Tarantino for Kill Bill one and two
Thanks to J. K. Rowling for screwing up Harry Potter Volume Six,
If she hadn't, I might not have found better-written fannish fics,
Thanks to Joel, Mike, the Robots, Dr. F and TV's Frank,
Bobo, Pearl, and Brain Guy -- and I still have more to thank.
Thank you to the Dutch who got annoyed at all the Puritans
For saying public dancing was lewd
Thank you to the native tribes who welcomed all the Pilgrims here
And sorry that you got so badly screwed
Thanks, Ben Franklin, though you didn't have much luck in
getting folks to think that turkeys were okay
Thanks to the inventors of tofurkey and turducken
They're just an awful lot of fun to say
Thanks to those closest to me, my love and my best friends,
I could go on for hours, but at some point this song ends,
Thanks to everyone who listens to my music with delight,
And if you don't, keep listening -- someday I'll get it right.
Thanks to everyone who keeps me sane, you lovely bunch of loons,
Making sure the voices in my brain are all from old cartoons,
Last but not least, thanks Bill Dial and Mike Zinberg, who gave me,
"Turkeys Away" on WKRP.
It's on WKRP in Cincinnati....