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The Tit That Ate Halftime

Words: © 2004 by Tom Smith
Music: "The Merry Little Minuet" by Sheldon Harnick
as performed by The Kingston Trio

What inspired this was the report that Janet's Extreme Halftime Show (brilliantly referred to by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show as "The Teat Offensive" and by the Memphis Commercial Appeal as "a tempest in a C-cup") had led Michael Powell, chairman of the FCC and the son of the Secretary of State, to contemplate revoking CBS's broadcasting license. Which is way past pathetic, into the realms of (as they say in certain military services) Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

There's war in Afghanistan (cheerful whistling),
There's strife in Iraq (and more whistling),
The poor and the Bill of Rights (still more whistling)
Are under attack. (yet more whistling)

The government's run by thugs
Enriching their friends,
There's no telling when the budget
Deficit ends,
But what's got America
All up in a snit?
At the Super Bowl, Janet Jackson flashed a tit!

Soooo...
Dubya is tranquil and thankful and proud,
The crowd is so loud it drowned out Maureen Dowd,
When Justin adjusted her bust that fine day,
Somehow he ripped the top off... and everyone was blown away!

They're rioting in Washington (whistling),
Suing in Tennessee (whistling),
But most men would pay to watch (whistling)
What every baby sees for free (twang).

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