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Who Needs Groundhog Day?

Words: © 2004 by Tom Smith
Music: "Who Needs Sleep?" by Steven Page & Ed Robertson
I actually could go on at great length about this holiday, but for the song it was primarily important and necessary for me to make no mention of Bill Murray.

Now I lay me down not to sleep
Amid these Pennsylvania geeks,
The entertainment value's cheap,
But what the hey, it fills my cheeks.

I'll never understand this thing,
It's only halfway till the spring,
A hundred news teams come each year
To watch my blurry vision clear.

Woke up, I'm out of luck,
They pick me up,
The only thing that counts is
Where the light is,
My head's down, I look around --

(I need sleep)
Well, I'm never gonna get it
(I need sleep)
Not on Groundhog Day
(I need sleep)
They say if I see my shadow
They'll be six more weeks
Of winter on the way.

There should be anti-cruelty laws,
You're lucky I've got soft, pink paws.
The Weather Channel touts its tech,
Then airs this superstitious dreck.

A big guy, in a tux
Got ahold of me,
Maybe if I pee
He'll let me go,
It's worth a try, I wanna die --

(I need sleep)
Well, I'm never gonna get it
(I need sleep)
Not on Groundhog Day
(I need sleep)
They say if I see my shadow
They'll be six more weeks
Of winter on the way.

(I need sleep)
Tell me, what's the fascination
(I need sleep)
With rodent folklore?
(I need sleep)
Between lemmings and beavers,
If a woodchuck could chuck,
He'd chuck it out the door.

There's so much money spent predicting
Weather nowadays,
But all that scientific data's
Vanished in the craze,
There's Doppler Radar, lake effect, heat
Index and wind chill,
So why are all these morons here with
Punxsutawney Phil?

Woke up, I'm out of luck,
They pick me up,
The only thing that counts is
Where the light is,
My head's down, I look around --

Badger Badger Badger!

(I need sleep)
Well, I'm never gonna get it
(I need sleep)
Not on Groundhog Day
(I need sleep)
I get the blame, not the credit, and
What in the hell is
"Punxsutawney" anyway?

(I need sleep)
Well, I'm never gonna get it
(I need sleep)
Not on Groundhog Day
(I need sleep)
They say if I see my shadow
They'll be six more weeks
Of winter on the way.

(Repeat and fade)

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