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Who The Fuck Is Matt?

Words: © 2008 by Tom Smith
Music: "Where The Hell Is Bill?" by Camper Van Beethoven
So I finished watching the anime series Death Note. And there was this guy....

Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?

I got on the Death Note fandom boards,
And ran into rabid fangirl hordes,
Slashing every pairing that caught their eyes,
I kept seeing a name I didn't recognize.

Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?

Pretty-boy criminal hireling fellow,
He does dirty work for a guy named Mello,
He gets shot up by a million cops,
He's in the damn show, like, a minute, tops.

Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?

It's a walk-on part, but look what it did,
He's in more fics than that Malfoy kid,
Teased and tortured, snuggled and swived,
Imagine what they'd write if the guy had survived.

Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?
Who, who the fuck is Matt?

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