Share
Javascript DHTML Drop Down Menu Powered by dhtml-menu-builder.com

Y.U.R.T. (Your Un-Resolved [Sexual] Tension)

Words and Music: © 2005 by Tom Smith
Another one where I was commissioned to channel Christine Lavin. And, yes, yes, I know -- "Your Unresolved Sexual Tension" should be "YUST", or at best "YURST". But I thought Your UnResolved sexual Tension, "YURT", made more sense way up north. On the other hand, changing it would provide an alternate title -- "YUST, Another Love Song"....

She was a djinni from Alaska, at least that's what I'm told,
Beautiful with magic powers, and silk pajamas which were very cold,
He was a Ferrett from the midwest, a techie kinda guy,
They met online, and within moments the fur began to fly.

There was something in his manner that set her teeth to clench,
Something in her attitude that made him call her "wench",
Just one wrong word and virtually they'd start to yell and shove,
Is it any wonder after four years they were both in like?
What? She was married! What kinda guy do you think he is? Jeez....

It was...
Your unresolved sexual tension, folks would say
They were each with other people, they lived an eighth of a world away,
Going ballistic over details of the Star Wars trilogy
Was just a substitution for a love that couldn't be.

One day their conversation turned more personal than most,
The love he'd known was all but gone, he'd given up the ghost,
With trembling hands, she e-mailed back, "My heart's been broken too,
I'll let you lean on me if you could let me lean on you."

What followed was a phone call flurry like you've never seen,
The djinni and the furry, sweet, romantic, and obscene,
It took a year to calm them down, and then he said to her,
"I'll move up to Alaska, I've already got the fur."

It was...
your unresolved sexual tension, I've been told,
Why else would a Ferrett move four thousand miles to the cold?
We all know what people do for love, but Gini and Ferrett prove
There's no motivation like frustration to make things really move.

You know it couldn't be that easy, not everything goes right,
Sometimes their clashing temperments would keep them up all night.
Remember that the nights up there are nearly six months long,
But don't despair, I promise there's a happy ending to this song.

The rough spots have been all smoothed out, they're happy as can be,
She soon will take the bar exam after she's got her law degree,
He's a writer and a journalist, and takes care of the house,
And they nauseate their friends by gushing how great is their spouse.

They love her teenaged daughters, they love their LJ folk,
They go to every film they can, they laugh at every kind of joke,
But sometimes they lock the door, she smiles at him, he smiles at her,
Then she dons the silk pajamas, and he puts on the fur.

'Cause they...
Resolved their sexual tension, ever since they tied the knot,
That region of Alaska has been really getting hot,
There may be snow, the wind may blow, but they don't even care,
As long as they've got each other, every day is bright and fair.
And the nights, beyond compare.

Now, you'd think that if this song should end, that'd be the perfect place,
But like the Augustine volcano, it's blown up in my face,
That gorgeous Arctic wilderness of tundra, snow and wind,
Has long since been abandoned for the wilds of... CLEVELAND.

It didn't really matter, long as they were arm in arm,
But they both admit it's kinda nice to occasionally be warm.
They knew that north Ohio was the place they had to be,
So they loaded up their sled and moved to Cuyahoga County.

Ohio Valley, that is... Geauga Lake... pro football... The Velvet Tango Room....

Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks,
Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks,
Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks,
Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks....

Follow Tom on Facebook! Follow Tom on Twitter! Follow Tom on Livejournal!
See Tom's videos at YouTube! Connect with Tom at LinkedIn! Get Tom's music in FLAC, AAC and Ogg at Bandcamp!
View Tom Smith's Sonicbids EPK
Hear me at Music Alley
Buy StuffFree StuffLyricsDeath Sheep RadioPersonalized SongsHouse Concerts
Fan StuffPodcastingPress KitDonateEtc. • Cool LinksLegal StuffContact Me
All original content © by Tom Smith