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Zombie Pirates In Love

Words and Music: © 2008 by Tom Smith
It's the mo-o-ost wonderful ti-i-i-ime of the ye-e-e-ear! That would be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, of course. But not long after that, you've got Halloween. And you know you're destined to do the easiest, cheapest costume around... either a pirate (a bandanna, an earring, maybe an eyepatch, and you ARRR all over the place) or a zombie (ripped clothes, lipstick blood, you shamble and bellow BRAINZ a lot). So here you go: two great fates that mate great together. No, I'm not sorry.

You've heard of Captain Blackbeard,
How he had a dozen wives,
Well, we've got something more weird,
And it's surely changed our lives.
You may not think us gentle or kind,
But we're all gallant swains,
We admire a lady for her mind,
Or more precisely her BRAINZ!

Zombie pirates in love, yo ho!
Zombie pirates in love,
We used to be normal buccaneers
Till those lights came from above,
Our ship met a glowing fog one night,
And we came out with an appetite
For human flesh, if it's Miss Right...
Zombie pirates in love, yo ho!
Zombie pirates in love.

We've got that rakish swagger,
And we've got that roguish charm,
We've got that bug-eyed stagger,
And we've got somebody's arm.
Now, you may think you're faster
Than a zombie on a boat
But all we need's a pastor
And you're Mrs. Undead Cutthroat.

Zombie pirates in love, yo ho!
Zombie pirates in love,
We may be dead, but we'll be wed
When pushing comes to shove,
Come on, me beauty, take a chance
On eternal love and true romance,
At the wedding we'll do the Thriller dance....
Zombie pirates in love, yo ho!
Zombie pirates in love.

Our honeymoon will be a terror
Of connubial bliss
For no bride's mother can prepare her
For a night like this,
In matrimony holy
Our bones will groan and creak
And if we both chew slowly
We could make it last all week.

So let's hear all the cannons roar and
Let's all celebrate.
Raise the Jolly Roger, Corman,
I've acquired a mate.
You'll be my wife long after life,
You'll always have my heart,
We'll keep love fresh with living flesh
Until we fall apart.

Zombie pirates in love, yo ho!
Zombie pirates in love,
We'll roam the sea eternally,
My rotting turtle dove,
It's not the life you might have had,
But zombie pirating ain't all bad,
And I can't wait to eat -- meet! your mom and dad --
Zombie pirates in love, yo ho!
Zombie pirates in love.
Zombie pirates in love, yo ho!
Zombie pirates in love.
Yo, ho, yo, ho, we're zombie pirates in love!

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All original content © by Tom Smith